I have guilt about
not having blogged in awhile, and yet I forget about it entirely. Part of that
is the fact that it has been hard to get on the internet, in the slipstream of
summer, on the run from UVI, and yet up until recently continually in the
gaping eye of the university, anchored in Brewer’s Bay in full sight of the new
student dorms and the administration building. Now we are in Culebra, which always
feels like an odd and desperate place, but at least I am able to think again.
The
complicated pleasures of life aboard. Technology is part of this. The
frustrations of not being able to “connect,” but temporary freedom from endless
pings, exigencies of connection, makes my physical reality so much more
immediate.
Guilt over not seeing Tallulah, and not
being able to pay attention to her when I do see her, have been radically
lessened by lack of internet and the decision to take her out of school. With extra
time on my hands, I decide to immediately begin homeschooling. We explore, informed
by the utopian vision of anarchy. Things find their own shape once we stop
imposing a generalized order. We scan poetry, do science experiments involving
copious amounts of food coloring, discover an aged Alexander Calder animating a
strange mechanical circus he has created under a miniature big top, once Adam
gets unlimited data on his new phone. Yes, we cluster around the internet again
as a flickering campfire, but of course it, like everything, hangs on a thin
thread, and will doubtless soon fall temporary victim to the vagaries of
unforeseen circumstances. And we’ll feel frustrated, and yet breathe a sigh of
relief.
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