I woke up at 2AM a few nights ago with an itchy eye. I thought it was just allergies from the incredibly nasty/cheap apartment we had rented while the boat's out of the water but when I looked in the mirror the white of my eye looked like a venomous jellyfish complete with pulsing red tentacles and evil blue nerve center (I can hear some of you say, "Yes, but Adam that's how it always looks!" but really, this was not normal)
I first tried to poke it into submission which didn't help but made me fully awake enough to realize this could be serious. It felt like something was in there and as I was splashing water I was going through the list of the day's possible candidates: rusted metal; boat bottom paint; rusted metal covered in boat bottom paint and Coca-Cola (don't ask) ... Now I'm totally awake and briefly contemplating what I would look like with a glass eye [insert story of one-eyed Supercuts hairdresser who gets smacked by disgruntled customer] which is when I wake up Jessica and say we need to go to the hospital. We wake the baby who quickly is cheerful and ready for adventure which is good because the only ride available at that time of night was some drunken waiters who happily let Jessica drive us all toward the "expensive" hospital--San Javier's--while they take pictures of T with their cell phones and finish their to-go cups. Maybe too much adventure, on second thought, I'm thinking this is a trip to the hospital after all so we pull off at the airport and hop in a cab for the rest of the trip even though our drunk waiter friends beg us to save money by driving their car. My eyeball is at stake, I figure now is the time to spend. We arrive at San Javier's and after about 30 minutes and no paper work whatsoever I'm seen by an eye specialist--it's 4AM. The doctor and examining room look very legit and he even has a special eye examining contraption which allows him to find and remove the offending bit whose origins I never did determine. The situation finally seems under control, my eye feels better, and now I'm starting to wonder how much this is all going to cost us. He gave me a prescription which I filled at the in-house pharmacy for $35 and then I walk up to the guy at the front desk and ask for the bill...$120.